I started this blog because I saw someone else do this. The way they wrote seemed so raw and real it was almost like I was in their brain. This is what I want to achieve with my blog as well. Apart from documenting success I also want to document my thoughts, things I'm struggling with and how I'm feeling in general. This will benefit me as much as the reader I think.
Today I'm in college and the procrastinators (me included) are rushing to complete their personal statements for uni. The deadline is next Wednesday. Some people haven't even started their whole application. I'm not that bad. However, I noticed that when it comes to the people who have actually done their statements, a few people were adamant on letting everybody else know that they've finished. The teacher asked "does anybody want me to check their statements." She was trying to help US who haven't finished our UCAS applications and then there's people who have done and want theirs to be read because they thought it was good and are looking for validation. This is normal I suppose. I realised after speaking to somebody that I myself am guilty of this. I think this is where this is all coming from. I'm projecting to some extent. I told my friend that " As we get older does it bother you that we get less commendation for certain things. For example, when I was younger and I did a bible reading at the meeting or got a good test result. Pizza once I get home and Xbox. NO questions asked. That was the norm. Now however, its just a smile and nod with a 'well done '." Its possible that this adjustment to less commendation and recognition for accomplishments is why guys develop "BOV trait."
Realistically BOV is just when something doesn't excite you as much either due to over exposure to it or just genuine lack of interest. I find it cool because I feel like it signifies to people that 'this guy just does this naturally' and they think damnnnn he's really like that. In reality it probably just looks like he's so sad he cant recognise his own accomplishments or he doesn't enjoy what he does. This won't stop me though. There's an element of delusion there.
Plenty more to come.... but that's all for now
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I appreciate your take on the ‘Bov trait’, while I agree that a lack of commendation on your achievements can lead to you viewing them as unworthy of celebration, as if everyone around you doesn’t think it’s a big deal you’re bound too as well. I think that in itself opens up a conversation on validation which you rightfully mention.
My personal opinion on the ‘bov trait’ is that on a large scale I do believe it to be forced. People want to look like they are unbothered by the good and bad in every aspect of life completely muting their emotions, the very thing that makes us human. Not trying too hard and thus not caring too much became the cool thing to do. While I do agree there is something motivating about seeing someone do something amazing and not care as we now aspire to become that skilled in said area, however the recent burst of people putting their balls on the table and letting us know that they are serious and passionate about their work and that they are in the pursuit of greatness trumps that feeling ten fold. (Insert Timothee Chalamet speech)